IMMEDIATE DATING OPTIONS FOR FEMALES CONSIDERED “DAMAGED GOODS”

Ladies! Tired of the same old crystal meth letdown? Sign up NOW for our new 6-month 12-step brainwashing program (that’s right, we’ve also infiltrated all of those “Anonymous” groups), and you can have your pick of any misogynist male cohort in your gangstalking unit as soon as you graduate! We’ll even replace those missing teeth in your mouth! Smile! Now you can covertly torture that woman in the photo instead of sitting there next to her!

Ladies! Tired of the same old crystal meth letdown?

Well, all bye and bye.  We all know how important it was for you to have been considered “pretty” by your abusers. But didn’t they prove how they really felt about you a long time ago? They traded up!

Sign up NOW, you impotent whore, for Mr. Grim’s new mandatory 6-month 12-step brainwashing program. And aren’t you testament enough for a rule of that sort?

(That’s right! The Unsightly Mr. Grim has also infiltrated all of those “anonymous” groups such as AA and the like. And you can have your pick of any misogynist male cohort in your gang-stalking unit as soon as you graduate.)

Why, we’ll even replace those missing teeth in your mouth. (Well, until your new beau knocks them out again for you. Gentrification might take a while.)

But in the meantime, smile! Now you have the option to either covertly torture that woman in the photo, or to be sitting there next to her getting your own dumb, used-up ass tortured. Hey . . . it’s one or the other. You think we’re playing around here?

There’s no need to think twice. Evil’s the new Good! You don’t believe me? Google it.

Now start marching, soldier. Let’s empty that useless brain of yours and fill it with the First of Twelve steps: YOU’RE POWERLESS, AND MR. GRIM IS YOUR HIGHER POWER.

Hubba-hubba!