HEFTY “MONKEY BALLS” INDOCTRINATION!

Psychoelectrochemical Induction to Instant Obedience

Boys! Want to be just like those swaggering pseudo-military oafs you want to call your “superiors”? Sign up NOW for your new command order: Simian Testicular Grafting! Immediately after our simple outpatient surgical bootcamp devolution procedure, you can share that inimitable psychotic “Monkey Balls” tribal rush of seesawing submission and exaltation with the rest of us! Come on! Free yourself of persnickety human dignity and empathy! Chicks’ll dig you!

Boys! Want to be just like those swaggering pseudo-military oafs you call your “superiors”? Well, recent studies have shown that you have the exact genetic breeding and subliminal conditioning for their unique brand of robotized Main Street marching! That’s right! Your handlers have been slowly turning your brains into mush for years  now, and you weren’t too sharp to begin with, so why fight it?

Sign up NOW for your new command order: SIMIAN TESTICULAR GRAFTING!

Immediately after this simple outpatient surgical bootcamp devolution procedure, you’ll get to share in that inimitable psychotic “Monkey Balls” tribal rush of seesawing submission and exaltation with the rest of the brainwashed gang-stalking mob.

Come on! Free yourself of persnickety human dignity and empathy. Chicks’ll dig you!